In North Carolina

MISCELLANY "TIME brings all things"

The mountaineers are a hardy lot,

They live in woody niches,

They tear their socks on jagged rocks

And swear like angry witches.*

Throughout North Carolina many a hardy mountaineer was peacefully at work last week spinning and weaving various portions of a suit of clothes for Mayor James J. Walker of New York City.

On Oct. 6 the Mayor will arrive in Asheville, the guest of local boosters, on a special train christened The Land of the Sky. Retiring from the public view for a few moments, Mr. Walker is scheduled to emerge in his grey "mountaineer-spun" suit.

Intellect

"A horse weighing four hundred pounds stands on four legs. How much does it weigh?"

"Four hundred pounds," chorused the prisoners. Delinquents they were, brought before Judge Otto Rosalsky in Manhattan. The judge was testing them for feeblemindedness after a method of his own.

"Now," said the Court, "the horse has shifted and he is standing on three legs. How much does he weigh?"

Quick came the answer: "Three hundred pounds."

The prisoners, aged 17 to 21 years, were placed in institutions.

Lion

At a cafe in Valenciennes, France, topers sipped blear-eyed one midnight last week. Suddenly they stared aghast as a lion bounded in at the door. Some ran; four stayed, one laughing loudly, saying, "I've seen them before!" The lion took a leg of mutton from the counter, stalked out the back door. A tiger, escaped from the same circus, ate an entire lamb in a butcher's shop, was captured fast asleep.

Strap

One Ferdinand Clet, 70, lay in a hospital ward at Grenoble, France, last week, groaned, snored,

One Georges Pierre, 55, racked with pain on an adjoining bed, found himself unable to sleep, thought to silence M. Clet's groans and snores by whaling him with a stout leather belt. The ruse succeeded. Quiet soon reigned. M. Pierre slept.

Next morning he was informed that M. Clet had died during the night, was accused of murder by an irate nurse.

Leaping from his bed Invalid Pierre fled from the hospital, distraught. He rushed out upon a neighboring bridge, disappeared, is thought to have drowned himself.

Blow

Last week honest Umpire Pat McTavey peered anxiously into a cloud of dust on a home-plate just outside of Long Island City, N. Y. Up jerked his thumb. "Out!" he shouted. The home team had lost. Disgruntled fans shrieked, "Kill him! Kill the umpire!"

One fan rushed out; struck Mr. McTavey; killed him.

Punch

Outside of Bloomfield, N. J., last week one Walter S. Johnson drove along in his automobile beside one Sidney G. Smith on his motorcycle. Both were strangers. When they turned a corner, the automobile "cut in" on the motorcycle, forced it off the road.

Mr. Johnson, sorry, stopped and got out of his automobile, walked over to the motorcycle. Mr. Smith, enraged, punched Walter Johnson, fractured his skull, killed him.

Dud

In Cleveland, one Mattie Mason, intoxicated, hurled her pet cat at one Henry Ling, killed the cat, did not harm Mr. Ling.

*This famed poem has many another stanza. Each stanza makes the mountaineers out to be tougher and tougher. Together, they inspired a group of active young Americans and Britishers on duty in Berlin to found some years ago the Hardy Mountaineers' Club which is located between the Adlon Hotel and the Brandenburg Gate. Only Britishers or Americans are admitted to the Mountaineers' Club.