"Names make news." Last week these names made this news:

President Roosevelt sent a palm wreath to the tomb of President Harding at Marion, Ohio.

On a goodwill tour of 2,700 North American Lions Clubs, President Vincent C. Hascall of Lions International passed through Manhattan, stopped long enough to say: ''Our platform is Service with a capital S. . . . We are all on the upgrade, especially Mississippi, Alabama, and Mexico. There our clubs are doing more than ever before." After a dinner at the New York Club, President Hascall spoke on "Idealism and Lionism," joined with his hosts in singing:

East, West, North, South, Canada to the Sea, New York Lions are alert To serve Humanity.

"A culmination of 20 years of hate" drove Playwright Elmer Rice (Between Two Worlds, Judgment Day, Counsellor-at-Law, Street Scene) to turn a lecture at Columbia University into a lambasting of Broadway dramatic critics. After declaring that he would never write another play for Manhattan's "over-commercialized" theatre, Mr. Rice raged: "There is not a dramatic critic in New York City who knows anything about the problems of acting and directing. You can call them all ticket grabbers. That's what they are-- ticket grabbers . . . jaded . . . bored . . . illiterate . . . stupid . . . animal-like . . . scum of the earth". . . .

Next evening Critic Gilbert Gabriel of the New York American spied the disgusted playwright at a Broadway premiere. Funster Gabriel, whose cane conceals a gleaming rapier, leaped from his seat, pursued Mr. Rice up the aisle at the point of the rapier.

Beaming with pride, Mrs. William Henry Hays, 57, president of the New York Young Women's Christian Association, stood in the centre of a receiving line at the Hotel Waldorf-Astoria, welcomed 1,000 guests to a Y. W. C. A. dinner. To launch a drive for $200,000, proud Mrs. Hays had brought together an imposing array of Great Ladies. Guests of honor were Mrs. Calvin Coolidge, 55, Mrs. Dwight Whitney Morrow, 61, Mrs. James Roosevelt, 80. Most venerable guest of all was reclusive Mrs. Andrew Carnegie, 85.

For just over an hour a double line of sleek Manhattan socialites, confined by a red plush rope, edged down a long corridor, edged past the receiving line, edged on into the Grand Ballroom for dinner. After dinner Mrs. Morrow made a little speech about the initials Y. W. C. A., thought of all the nice things she could which began with Y (Youth), with W (Wisdom), C (Charity) and A (Alertness). To close the program, 500 Young Women trooped in, presented a pageant of Y. W. C. A. activities.

The stewards of the National Steeplechase & Hunt Association canceled the amateur license of Crawford Burton, Manhattan stockbroker, steeplechaser, and one of the few men in the world to ride two winners in the Maryland Hunt Cup. Reason: He allowed his photograph in racing silks to appear in a spectacular testimonial advertisement for Camel cigarets. Victim of many a serious fall. Jockey Burton has not ridden a steeplechase since 1933.

Roger Ward Babson forecast that by 1968 Chicago will be the world's biggest city.

"God is a 24-hour station," wrote Mary Pickford in Why not Try God?* "All you need to do is to plug in. You plug in with your thinking. Truthful thinking. Good thinking. Kind thinking. Unselfish thinking."

Just after the last of them was delivered, the Dionne quintuplets were humbly baptized by Dr. Alan R. Dafoe. When they were a few hours old they were hastily but authentically rebaptized by the parish priest. A week later they were given temporary names. Last week, aged 5 months, 2 days, in the presence of priest, parents, godparents, and alternates for the godparents, the famed five were really & truly, fully & finally named:

Marie Reine Alma Dionne, Emilie Marie Jeanne Dionne, Cecile Marie Emilda Dionne, Annette Lilianne Marie Dionne, Yvonne Edouilda Marie Dionne.

Mrs. Alice Roosevelt Longworth put her five-story white stone Washington mansion up for sale at whatever price real estate agents can get. A mishap to Author Louis Bromfield's seventy-year-old mother, Mrs. Annette Maria Coulter Bromfield, when she attended a Daughters of Ohio Society luncheon in Manhattan's smart St. Regis Hotel roof garden, led her to sue the hotel for $50,000. She claimed she tripped on a tear in a St. Regis rug, fell down three steps, broke her left leg in three places.

The Academic Franc,aise learned that it would receive most of the estate of France's late great Foreign Minister Louis Barthou, that it must act as trustee for a small sum which Widower Barthou left to his mother-in-law.

*Published by H. C. Kinscy & Co. ($1).

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