Pain in the Nekku

In the Tokugawa Era, which began in 1600, Japan withdrew into its shell like a frightened hermit crab. Feudalism was established; foreigners were driven from the country or tossed from mountaintops; Japanese were forbidden to leave Japan. This period, in many ways Japan's greatest and in many ways the shape of things-to-come in 20th-century Europe, ended in 1853 with the arrival of Commodore Perry. The Japanese people, who are by nature the world's cleverest imitators, entered into a new era of imitation of all things foreign.

In the last year Japan has begun again to withdraw into its hermit shell. English signs have been taken down. American films have been banned. Cabarets have been closed. Foreign clothes have become taboo for Japanese women. Even baseball has been Japanofied, with Japanese phrases substituted for such terms as "home run " "foul" and "kill the umpire" and with all bats made of bamboo. But last week Japan's xenophobes ran into a linguistic stone wall. Trying to enforce a new language law, designed to purify Japanese of foreign words, authorities found that English words had become deeply embedded in the language.

For instance, a ham sandwich is hamu sandowichi, tea is chee and coffee is kohi, which is as near as the Japanese can come to pronouncing these words. Gas is gasu, tobacco is tobaku and matches are matchi. Even in the country inns, the maid will come running in with a pair of surippa, bedroom slippers. Beer is biru. When you indicate that you want to get out of a bus the conductress cries stoppu to the driver. As you step into the street she shouts after you orai, which stands for "all right" but is actually a form of farewell. In Tokyo the taxis are takuski and the chauffeurs are doraibu. A knife is knaifu, butter is bata, scrambled eggs are sakurambu eggu, beefsteak is beefu teki, chocolate is chokoretto, a mutton chop is maton choppu, soup is soppu, a salad is sarado, celery is serari, a tumbler is koppu (cup). To the moga (modern girl) it is all a pain in the nekku.

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