Kindle-Joys

Last week there was a hot enough session of the British Parliament to make a foreigner suppose that the fate of the Empire depended on the vote. The debate was over London theatricals. Londoners can get theatrical war relief at four plays and six revues but, for centuries past, London's Sundays have been theaterless. The House of Commons squarely faced the issue of whether to allow bomb-harassed Londoners Sabbath dramatics.

Hottest cry of all came from crinkle-headed "Dry" Thomas Magnay, member from Gateshead, an accountant and ardent bowler, who drinks only water and dry ginger ale. Shouted he: "All things that are sweet and reasonable and Christian are being more and more jeered at and flouted. . . . We know that art and literature have been befouled. ... In literature every man is a cad and every woman a vamp. . . . We have the devotees of St. Vitus' dance called Jazz . . . volplaning down the descending scale. You hear crooners breaking their hearts every night--if anybody broke their necks I should not be sorry. . . . London is the playground of the idle rich. ... All this technique of sapping and mining the morale of our people ... is Fifth Column work ... to deride Christianity." "Dry" Thomas closed by quoting Voltaire as saying that if he could capture the English Sunday he could destroy Christianity.

Beetle-browed Laborite Josiah Wedgwood, direct descendant of the famed potter, politely observed that Sunday theaters were unnecessary since soldiers and their girls "would infinitely prefer the dusk and sentiment of the cinema, where they could hold each other's hands."

Speaking for the bill, Humorist Alan Patrick Herbert cautioned its opponents: "You are not merely shutting the door after the horse has gone but when it is far away up the road." George Bernard Shaw remarked (outside the House of Commons): "I am all in favor of having my plays performed as often as possible."

At the vote, the House of Commons was packed with nearly 400 members, biggest House in months. Result: For Sunday theaters--136. Against--144 (100 did not vote). High up in the gallery sat beaming Secretary Henry Martin of the Lord's Day Observance Society. Chortled he: "We believe that this victory . . . is an answer to prayer. They call us killjoys. Ha! ha! We are kindle-joys!"

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.