Bite. In Van Nuys, Calif., a couple who wanted to move answered an attractive house-for-sale ad, discovered it was their own.

Returns. In Kansas City, a tornado blew a $270 check from the desk of J. E. Wyatt. It was returned to him from Mendota, Mo., 150 miles away. In Charlestown, N.H., a mail clerk who lost a jackknife figured he might possibly have dropped it into one of 14 outgoing mail sacks. He wrote to 14 out-of-town postmasters, got back 16 knives.

Mop-Up. In Salt Lake City, two weeks after somebody stole Mrs. Lorus Jackson's clean washing off her wash line, somebody stole Mrs. Lorus Jackson's washing machine.

Hunters. In Wheeler, Ore., an excited hunter stumbled, fell when a flock of geese honked overhead. His gun went off, bagged three. In Pittsfield, Mass., a hunter fired his shotgun at a squirrel in a tree, missed, brought down four raccoons.

Delivery. In San Jose, Calif., a super-puncher punched Louis Barff on the jaw, dislocated Louis Barff's hip.

Fish Flop. In Seattle when a woman complained to the city transit system that she had been splashed by goldfish in another passenger's bowl, a ruling was made that goldfish could ride city busses only if they lay still.

Micellany. In lola, Kans., Richard Tobey by experiment proved to his own satisfaction that mice preferred bread to bacon, bacon to cheese.

Jails. In Mexico City when a jailer stopped letting a prisoner go out every day the prisoner protested to a court on the ground that his constitutional rights were being denied him. In Louisville, when a drunken teamster fell asleep on his wagon his mule pulled him to a police station, stopped at the door.

Pike Bike. In Colorado Springs, George Butler satisfied an urge: he pushed a bicycle 14,109 feet up Pike's Peak, rode it down.

Item Item. In Lincoln, Neb., two autoists who were both 51 and driving the same make and model of car collided, both doing 20 miles an hour, after 31 years' driving experience apiece.

Trust. In Manhattan, a magistrate released a prisoner on 5-c- bail.

Millennium. In Canterbury, Conn., a town meeting decided not to levy any taxes for the next fiscal year because the treasury already had enough money.

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