Sanitation. In Flushing, L.I., Fred Roper was found guilty of violating the Sanitary Code by quartering two elephants in his garage.

Motorists. In Philadelphia, police caught up with a speeding car that looked empty. Slumped down behind the wheel was the driver, who said he was keeping his bearings by watching the trolley wires. In San Francisco a judge fined a motorist $5 for straddling a white traffic line. The motorist was the painter who had put the line there.

Service. In Salt Lake City, the city commissioners paid a firm of experts $2,500 to recommend improvements in the city government. The experts recommended that the commissioners' jobs be abolished.

Peer. In Manhattan, a jury at a murder trial missed one of its members, found he had been arrested by the FBI as an alleged member of a ring accused of stealing $5,000,000 worth of automobile parts from Ford Motor Co.

Student. In Petersburg, Ind., a farmer found why his electricity bills were so high: one of his cows had been pulling on the light cord in the barn at night.

Slip. In Idabel, Okla., a court clerk reading a verdict condemning a man to death in the electric chair was interrupted by cries from the jury box. The jurors had signed the wrong verdict blank; they meant 25 years for manslaughter.

Answer. In Buffalo, N.Y., Harran Ali asked Allah to get his wife out of the reformatory, made a burnt offering of his coat, afire on a pole in front of the County Hall. Result: a $5 fine for disorderly conduct.

Scoundrel. In London, George Hall was given seven days in jail for "willfully disturbing other persons" in an air-raid shelter by snoring.

Purse. In Newcastle, Ind., a woman reported to police the loss of her purse, containing: two watches, four rings, two automatic pencils, one fountain pen, several pins, a social-security card, a driver's license, two books, an American flag, one pearl-handled knife, one sliding-blade knife, one flashlight.

Old Times. In dry Oklahoma City, a man cheerfully paid a $662 fine for possessing un-tax-paid whiskey. "The price has jumped from $10 to $14 a case," he beamed. "I can afford a little setback."

Welcome. Outside Marysville, Kans., appeared the following sign: "You ARE NOW ENTERING KANSAS--We apologize for the deplorable condition of this section of U.S. 77. We condemn those responsible....MARYSVILLE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE."

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