Occupational Hazard. In Mexico City, Cobbler Inocencio Rosa Cortes took one despairing look at an impossibly battered pair of shoes, screamed, stabbed himself ten times.

Tribute. In Canberra, Australia, the Post Office happily produced a new stamp, in honor of Explorer John Shortland, unhappily discovered that the fine portrait on the stamp was of another Shortland.

Shoo! In Chicago, Mrs. John L. Bennett, whose husband manufactures flyswatters, sued for divorce, complained that he swatted her.

Your Honor! In Brunswick, Ga., for the second time in two months, conscientious cops arrested the mayor for drunken driving.

Inevitable. In Madison, Wis., the state A.A.A. announced the appointment of a new safety director: Earl G. Messecar. In Bloomington, Ill., George Quarrels was pinched after picking a fight with a bartender.

Disarmament. In McAllen, Tex., a hen finally got rid of that old rifle cartridge by laying an egg with the cartridge inside it.

Light-Fingered. In Palm City, Calif., someone stole a telephone pole.

Buried in His Work. In Detroit, five-year-old Donald Prieur, athirst for knowledge, set out for school for the first time, paused en route to take up the study of a barrel, was eventually sawed out of it.

Younger Generation. In Cambridge, Mass., jail officials asked a group of boisterous little boys to move on away from that street corner; they were keeping the prisoners awake nights.

Irresistible. In Topeka, a citizen demanded and got a police escort home after he complained that women had been molesting him.

Suggestion. In Bettendorf, Iowa, Used-Car Dealer C. W. Boughton stuck a sign on one of his autos: "Grab It Now!" Cops were soon hunting the thief who did exactly that.

Hang Out Flags. At Sing Sing Prison, Warden William E. Snyder had happy news for the citizens of The Bronx: not a single one of them, he beamed, had been put in his prison during the entire month of August.

Live & Learn. In Clinton, Tenn., Locomotive Engineer D. C. Yarnell went motoring in his new car, failed to look sharp enough at a railroad crossing, got himself banged up, his car demolished.

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