College Spirit. In New Haven, Conn., the Homestead Motel proudly announced that it had "a limited supply of fine rooms available to Yalemen for their quests."

To Each His Own. In San Francisco, Superior Court Judge Herbert C. Kaufman awarded Mrs. Chesley L. Woodfield a divorce and $100 a month alimony, also stipulated that she must return her husband's banjo, stamp & coin collections and false teeth.

Retriever. In Memphis, Jessie Ashby, charged with attempting to break into a warehouse, told detectives they had him all wrong: crowbar in hand, he had climbed the iron fence guarding the property only to get a 50-c- piece he had inadvertently nipped into the grounds.

Lucky. At Pimlico, Md., after losing approximately $1,000 a year for 20 years betting on the ponies, Fred C. Brogan finally came home a winner: as the track's 12 millionth customer, he got an inscribed "Good Luck" horseshoe.

Chapter & Verse. In Houston, the Rev. George W. Hughes reluctantly paid his $10 fine for speeding, left a Bible for the arresting officer with an admonition to "read this carefully and . . . the Lord will forgive you."

Repeater. In Globe, Ariz., a disgruntled silver prospector came out of the hills to file a location notice on his mining claim: "Foiled No. 4."

Accomplice. In Norwalk, Conn., a dental patient, making for the nearest exit, went down the dentist's third-floor fire escape, ran into a cop who escorted him back upstairs to complete his appointment.

Woman's Way. In Sydney, Australia, Maud Pracey persuaded the court to give her husband three weeks' grace on a $1,100 debt installment so she could go win the money playing the horses.

In a Stew. In Litchfield, Minn., the county treasurer pondered the note pinned to an irate citizen's tax return: "The cannibals had a way of solving high taxes . . . they ate the tax collector."

Footloose. In New Haven, Conn., a recently divorced man called the probation office to say he would not be downtown to make his weekly alimony payment, because: "My wife took my shoes."

Wild Oats. In Brooklyn, Mosha Byron, reprimanded for shooting craps in his 100th year and arrested for illegally practicing medicine in his 102nd, was hauled into court again, this time for cursing a neighbor, was ordered by a doubting judge to go home and get the birth certificate to prove his age as 108.

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