Virtue's Reward. In Van Nuys, Calif., Irving Levin returned from the police station, where he had gone to turn in $90 somebody lost, found his car ticketed for illegal parking.

Tired Thumb. In Central Falls, R.I., a young woman explained why she had turned in a false alarm: she was on a country road, with no prospect of getting a lift home, figured the fire department would give her a ride.

Shadow & Substance. In Passaic, N.J., Joseph Gardella, arrested for drunken driving, explained that he had been repairing a tavern refrigerator, attributed his condition to fumes from the methyl chloride used as a cooling fluid.

Double Take. In Muncie, Ind., the teen-age thieves who made off with the county prosecuting attorney's car also bagged a seatful of research for a report on Juvenile Crime.

Poll Watcher. In Detroit, Mrs. George Atkinson complained that her husband, an ardent Republican, shoved her out of the car when she told him she had voted the straight Democratic ticket.

Machine Age. In Natchez, Miss., hoodlums broke into the office of Dr. E. L. McAmis, lugged his safe next door to the Firo Garage & Machine Shop, opened it with an electrical drill press.

Compensation. In Woonsocket, R.I., the judge dismissed charges that Bernard Halacy, 22-year-old veteran, had stolen a city street-sweeping vehicle, when Halacy explained that he had always wanted to drive a tank in the Army, but never had the chance.

Second Front. In Oklahoma City, while Patrolmen Sam Billings and Travis Brown were questioning a motorist stopped for speeding, two armed thugs made off with $30 from a filling station directly across the road.

Never Had It Better. In San Quentin, Calif., Antonio Ditardo, 76, explained why he has never applied for a parole from his life sentence: "I'm wearing a clean shirt. Almost every Sunday I get chicken. I have 500 friends here. Would I do as well outside?"

Deal. In Seattle, Mrs. Dorothy C. Horowitz used for evidence in her divorce suit a written pledge her husband had asked her to sign: "I promise never to embarrass you; to pay attention to you when you speak to me; never to smoke; to refrain from playing the radio too loudly; to keep my telephone conversations under five minutes; ... to cook three meals a day when requested and at the hours specified; . . . never to keep you waiting."

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