Hidden Costs. In Mexico City, arrested for bigamy after he had married two girls and proposed to a third, Thomas J. Butler explained that he had forgotten his marriages, sold his car to pay bail, remarked: "I cannot understand how a woman can be so expensive without [my] remembering her."

The Thing to Do. In Zanesville, Ohio, Mary Louise McNerney, 23, hurled a bottle through a cafe window, was arrested and fined $35, elected to serve out her fine at $3 a day in jail because "all my friends have been there."

Test of Fire. In Denver, when police finally caught up with him, Robert Smith, 25, said that he had shot out lights in the city center and fired at his pursuers with a .38-cal. pistol because "I wanted to be brave so I could get in the Army."

Psychological Warfare. In Albuquerque, Air Force Sergeant David Snow was charged with disorderly conduct after he quarreled with his girl friend, mimeographed her love letters, distributed them to her classmates in high school.

Professional Complaint. In Manhattan, questioning Burglary Suspect Margaro Alvarez, detectives asked him his occupation, got a candid answer: "I steal. I don't get much, but it's a living."

The Light Touch. In London, winning -L-1,555 ($4,354) for injuries suffered in a bus collision, Mrs. Celia Lampert asked an additional settlement because her husband Samuel had left her after the accident, but this was ruled out by the judge: "The loss of such a man is not a very serious matter except from the point of view of pride."

Buried Treasure. In Paris, police arrested Thief Roger Lhomel, shipped him off to the hospital when he announced that he had swallowed his loot: a gold bracelet, a wedding ring, a gold watch band, a religious medal, a three-inch wooden crucifix.

Sidetracked. In Cleveland, suing for divorce, Olga Textoris, 25, said that her husband Edward, 27, refused to let her buy a $30 winter coat, next day bought himself some $35 worth of attachments for his electric train set.

Continuous Performances. In Detroit, asking police for help, George Van Kula reported that an anonymous prankster had 1) directed to his address two coal trucks, four TV repairmen, two florists, six milkmen, a plumber, a veterinarian, two tow trucks, two exterminators, 2) advertised in the Detroit News that his apartment was for rent, cheap; 3) inserted a want ad stating that Van Kula needed a "dandy man, good wages."

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