Battle Cry. In Washington, D.C., James Sullivan was acquitted on an assault charge after testifying that Loren Meredith Jr. drove by his house, spotted him wearing Bermuda shorts, shouted: "Hey there, who's the sissy wearing his mother's panties!"

The Rivals. In Akron, Mrs. Evelyn L. Lower testified in divorce court that her husband thought more of his dogs than he did of her, claimed that he slept with three of the beasts at the foot of his bed complained: "When I asked him to buy groceries, he brought home a bag of dog food instead."

Take. In Stevensville, Ont., police searched for the safecrackers who got away with 5-c- after they blasted a Canadian National Railway safe with such force that they blew the estimated $36 it contained all over the station floor, caused $2,000 damage to the office.

Years of Decision. In Los Angeles, Mrs. Emma Niccum, 82, got a divorce from husband Elwood, who deserted her three months after their wedding in 1914.

Basic Equipment. In Worthington, Ohio, after he sideswiped a truck, cracked into four trees, knocked down a telephone guy wire, tore off a length of fence and crunched to a stop against the concrete steps of a house, Vincent E. Greene, 22, explained: "My horn got stuck."

Be Prepared. At Camp Drake, near Santa Barbara, Calif., energetic Boy Scouts hastily removed the furnishings from their fire-threatened buildings, were professionally piqued when the fire bypassed the buildings, burned to a crisp all the bedding they had dragged to the middle of the parade ground.

Reflections in a Private Eye. In Milwaukee, after getting into a saloon argument with another customer, Paul Mumford, 24, flashed a tin badge, shouted that he was about to call the patrol wagon, pulled a fire alarm instead, was fined $108 when ten fire trucks rushed to the scene.

Spectacular Sport. In Buffalo, when police flushed Decker Smith, 63, from his perch in a tree above the local lovers' lane early one evening and found a pair of binoculars in his pocket, he protested that he was merely making a routine check of nearby horseshoe-game scoreboards.

High on the Hog. In Atlanta, Edward Scott Holler, 47, released from a two-year term at Atlanta Federal Penitentiary, was back in jail five days later because he swiped ten pigs from the prison's farm hired seven boys, four trucks and a Cadillac to haul them away, paid his helpers with phony checks.

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