Crusty. Near Olive Branch, Miss., hanging helplessly from the top of an oak tree after parachuting out of a disabled Air Force plane, Airman Third Class Maxwell S. Prothro pleaded with a staring farm wife to bring rescuers, was told: "I'm busy. I'm cooking bread."

Clip Joint. In Florence, Italy, tired of finding hairs in his soup, Pasquale Martoni sheared his wife's flowing tresses to scalp level, protested when haled to court for assault: "It was only a matter of hygiene."

Decline & Fall. In Upton, Dorset County, England, dismayed by the shoddy condition of one of the town's roads, D. K. Coleman fired off a letter to Italy, asked the Romans to come back to Britain and repair the road they built 1,600 years ago.

In for a Roasting. In Detroit, Joseph J. Vranesich held up a grocery store, was informed by the clerk that the meat store next door had more money, thanked the clerk and went next door where police arrested him.

Countdown. In Los Angeles, Patricia Carpenter won a divorce from Husband Richard after discovering that she was his seventh wife, not his second as he had claimed.

Pause That Refreshes. In Cincinnati, among their new contract demands, members of Local 44 of the Iron Workers Union asked for an extra hour's pay to cover the time it takes to cash their paychecks.

Fur Flies. In Boulder, Colo., when an annulment was granted to Margaret and Kenneth Mundt, the court gave the family's 16 cats to Kenneth, but Margaret was ordered to pay $25 a month toward, their support.

Out of the Can. In St. Petersburg, Fla., caught by police after trying to escape from the state road prison camp, Prison Cook Fred Mayo told the judge: "I didn't like the food."

Unhinged. In Gothenburg, Sweden, during an exhibition of gadgets called "Stop the Thief," someone made off with five thiefproof locks.

Quick Bite. In Phoenix, Ariz., while practicing a quick draw with his pistol during lunch hour, Warehouseman Richard Sullins shot himself in the leg.

Top Reference. In Sapporo, Japan, after stealing $8.33 in a third-story burglary, Naokichi Kirifu was so paralyzed by fear of height that he yelled to passersby: "I'm a thief, but I can't come down. Please call the police."

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