Brandy, Anyone? On Mount Baldy, Calif., humans rescued a Saint Bernard named Simon Bolivar who got stuck on a ledge.

Playing Square. In Denver, police jailed two beatniks after they jeopardized their social standing by furnishing their "pad" with eight $50 cushions, two birch doors (for coffee tables) and two vacuum cleaners--all stolen.

Featherbedding. In Lordsburg, N.Mex., after insurance companies complained that truckloads of perishable goods were being spoiled by undue delays at a restaurant frequented by truck drivers, state police raided the place, charged two women with prostitution and vagrancy.

Stirs & Stripes. In Lakeland, Fla., ten prisoners at the city stockade were put on a three-day diet of bread and water after staging a sit-down strike and refusing "to work in stripes like criminals."

Hot Pursuit. In Nashville, Tenn., while Traffic Cop T. J. Slowey hid behind a tree, watching for speeders, his motorcycle caught fire under him, burned up.

Dig That Crazy Lima. In San Diego, Eighth-Grader Diana Walter experimented with lima bean plants for a science class, exposed one to water and sun, another to water and popular music, found that the second plant grew faster.

Bid for Election. In Hillsboro, N.C., John D. Larkins Jr., campaigning for governor, attended a livestock auction, waved so heartily to a potential voter that the auctioneer yelled "Sold," presented him with a $15 calf.

Paved with Good Intentions. In Carsonville, Mich., enraged at the muddy road by his house, Benjamin Caswell stormed down to the county garage, started to drive away with the road grader but was stopped by the police.

Stuffed Shirts. In Washington, the General Services Administration announced it would auction 40,000 lbs. of feathers that had been declared surplus to the national stockpile of "critical and strategic materials."

Food for Thought. In Hove, England, thieves jumped a porter carrying a bag with $8,000 worth of jewelry and a bag with a salmon sandwich in it, ran off with the sandwich.

Better Luck Next Time. In Hong Kong, while walking down a hall to his apartment, Law Kun-suk tore a pair of panties from an overhead line because it is supposed to be bad luck to walk under them, was clouted over the head by the irate owner, next day received a six-week jail sentence for property destruction.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.