Rabbits for the Tigers

Any school that sets out to teach rabbits to act like tigers figures to have a high flunk-out rate. When it comes to that kind of attrition, there are few schools to match the one that is run semiannually by the Professional Golfers' Association. The P.G.A. "rabbits" are would-be touring pros seeking to qualify as "Approved Tournament Players" and earn the right to compete for fame and fortune with the veteran "tigers" of the tournament trail.

The school was organized three years ago to keep the masses of ever hopeful, but hopelessly outclassed golfers from cluttering up tournament qualifying rounds, and also to make certain that those who do play, know how to act. Just getting into last week's spring session at Palm Beach Gardens, Fla., took some doing. The 82 aspirants from 20 states and six foreign countries all boasted impressive golfing credentials: Oklahoma's Bob Dickson was the winner of both the U.S. and British Amateurs last year; Colorado's Hale Irwin Jr. was the N.C.A.A. champion; Britain's Clive Clark was a former member of his nation's Walker Cup team. But laurels alone were not the price of admission. Each student had to be personally recommended by his own local or national P.G.A.; he had to cough up $250 for tuition and $125 for a year's P.G.A. dues, and he had to show a bank balance (or a sponsor's pledge) of $7,500--enough to cover his expenses for six months on the pro tour.

What he got for his money was three days of stern classroom lectures, six exhausting days of golf, and a better than 80% probability that he would flunk the course. Seasoned pros lectured on "Building a Professional Image," on "Ethics and Conduct," on proper attire ("Yellow socks, red pants and green shirts don't coordinate"), on clubhouse etiquette ("Don't kick in your locker after a bad round; lockers cost money"), and on behavior in front of TV cameras ("Remember, fellows, you're in show business"). The would-be touring pros were taught how to negotiate favorable contracts with sponsors and equipment manufacturers, were warned against cursing, throwing clubs, failing to honor commitments or writing rubber checks--any of which can get a pro fined from $100 to $500, or even bounced off the tour.

Then came the final exam: the "Sur vival Open"--144 holes of golf, played on the 6,896-yd., par 72 P.G.A. East Course that is known to pros as "a golf course designed by a fiend," or "a giant clam that can reach up and grab you at any moment." There was no prize money at stake in the Survival Open, just Approved Tournament Player ratings--and not many of those. Last October, only 30 out of 111 earned A.T.P. cards after a drenching rain turned the course into a mudhole. Last week the weather was fine, but only 15 A.T.P. cards were at stake, and the pressure quickly took its toll. One luckless competitor shot a 103 for the first 18 holes, grabbed his suitcase and disappeared. But Irwin and Clark both managed to survive, and Amateur Champion Dickson shot a seven-under-par 569 to win the tournament and graduate summa cum laude. Exhausted, but euphoric, he pocketed his A.T.P. card and headed for Louisiana, to tackle the tigers in this week's $100,000 Greater New Orleans Open.

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