Measuring Up

By Amy Dickinson

Women my age know whom to blame for our own self-loathing, eating disorders and distorted body image: Barbie. So we're raising our vulnerable, body-conscious girls to beware the perpetually pointy-toed goddess with the impossible body and perfect face. Now it's time to take a good look at our sons and their plastic influences. Studies show that boys increasingly suffer from eating disorders, and if that fact is surprising, the root cause is not--after you take a good look at G.I. Joe.

G.I. Joe, for those of you who haven't raised an eight-year-old boy lately, has evolved from a normally proportioned grunt into a buff, ripped, mega muscular warrior who, if he were a real man, would have 27-inch biceps and other proportions achievable only through years of bench presses, protein diets and the liberal use of steroids.

A recent study shows that 36% of third-grade boys had tried to lose weight. In the past 10 years, more than a million males have been found to have eating disorders. In addition to suffering from anorexia and bulimia at increasing rates, boys are falling victim to a newly named disorder: muscle dysmorphia (also called bigorexia)--the conviction that one is too small. This syndrome is marked by an obsession with the size and shape of your body, constant working out and weight lifting (even if you aren't involved in sports) and the use of supplements to "bulk up." Parents might tell themselves their kids' spending hours in a gym working on "six-pack abs" is better than hanging out on the corner and drinking six-packs, but a true case of bigorexia can be just as ruinous to a boy's health and future.

Dr. Harrison Pope, co-author of The Adonis Complex, a helpful book on male body obsession, says parents should look at the world through their sons' eyes. "Boys are fed a diet of 'ideal' male bodies, from Batman to the stars of the WWF," he says. "So parents need to tell their boys--starting when they are small--that they don't have to look like these characters." Pope, himself an avid weight lifter, says parents should also educate themselves and their sons on the uses and dangers of supplements such as adrenal hormones. "Any kid can go into a store and buy 'andro' [formerly Mark McGwire's bulk-up drug, androstenedione] legally," he says, "but we still don't know what long-term use will do to a boy's health." Pope believes that up to 15% of high school boys use andro, often in dangerous megadoses. A large percentage will then move on to anabolic steroids.

Boys are hampered by their tendency to stay silent about their anxieties, but parents can help them open up by asking questions rather than making statements. The media are full of unattainable images, so an Abercrombie & Fitch or a Gap ad can spark a discussion about what the proper build for a boy is. Parents of kids involved in such weight-sensitive sports as wrestling should know that crash dieting can trigger health problems and eating disorders. Danger signs include extreme mood changes, compulsive behavior and depression. Parents of very young boys can take a page from the Barbie playbook by asking their sons to compare muscle-bound action figures with real people they know, like Mom and Dad. When we did this in our house, it got a big laugh--maybe too big. But at least it's a start.

For more information on boys' bodily obsessions, visit time.com/personal You can e-mail Amy at [email protected]