Notebook

By Melissa August, Amanda Bower, Val Castronovo, Randy Hartwell, Daniel Levy, Ellin Martens, Julie Rawe, Chris Taylor and Josh Tyrangiel

WINNERS & LOSERS

[WINNERS]

GERALD FORD His Defense Sec'y gets old job, and cohort Cheney is V.P. Can Chevy Chase get his gig back at SNL?

MADONNA Gains Brit hubby in media-free ceremony. That fake English accent really paid off

PAT AND LEANNE Koalas kidnapped by teens return to San Francisco Zoo and go on eucalyptus binge

[& LOSERS]

JAY WALKER Priceline founder sees stock plunge, cuts staff, quits. Now singing in Priceline ads: fat lady

MICHAEL JORDAN Stumbling as Washington Wizards partner. The team's .167 win percentage? Airball.

NEW YORK Empire State slips behind Texas in Census and loses two House seats. At least it has Hillary